Why Every Generation Offers A Valuable Voice – Regardless of Age
“I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So, if I’m going to learn I must do it by listening.”
– Broadcaster Larry King
In most families, it is assumed that wisdom flows from the top down to the younger generation. After all, our elders have more experience in the world and have built businesses and careers that deserve respect.
However, the world is ever-changing and trends that affect shopping habits and how we communicate can evolve in a few short years. If you’ve ever tried to navigate a new smartphone, you’ll know that a young, tech-intuitive person is your best ally.
So why do we dismiss our children’s opinions or insights when they point out a new way of doing things? We do so at our own detriment.
I was reminded of this valuable lesson when taking a car service one day from Peterborough to Toronto and back (a three- hour round trip) when I struck up a conversation with Billy, the chauffeur and roadway philosopher.
“Yep, I’ve had many people riding in my backseat there,” he said with a chuckle. “I’ve heard lots of stories, and there are a couple of lessons I’ve learned that I love to pass on.”
“Most of all,” he continued, “ask your kids for advice sometimes. Not enough of us turn to our children for guidance. You’d be surprised how wise they are.”
He paused.
“Kids know how to cut through the crap and see things the way they really are. And they’ll feel like a million bucks if you ask them what they think you should do.”
Ah, there is so much beauty in that wise instruction from the driver! From then on, I began including my three daughters in my decision-making. The results have been astounding.
On top of the benefits of getting a new perspective, when you ask a young person for guidance, you forge a deeper connection with them. You help them feel respected and valued for the insights they bring to the table.
You teach them to use their voice and speak their truth.
You show them that they matter.
And you also demonstrate that it is OK to seek counsel. They will understand that if you can come to them for advice, then they can also come to you. Everyone wins.
That is the key to building the next generation to lead the family business. By being more open, patriarchs and matriarchs include more voices and make sure no one is left on the sidelines. By not taking control and passing judgment, even via those subtle cues you may not realize you are sending better messages that you recognize that the next branch of the family tree can reach much further.
Our young scions just need confidence and belief to forge ahead, without being subconsciously held back by the ways “we have always done things.”
Listen to them.
Value their insights. You never know what you will learn.
The sooner you open up those conversations – with multiple generations contributing – the more vibrant your talks and your business will be.
Thanks, Billy.
If your family is facing a challenge of having a variety of voices heard, one of the best ways to change channels is to have a neutral third-party at the table. A family enterprise advisor can help make these conversations flow more smoothly and stay on topic. Contact me anytime to find out how to get that process started. You may be surprised at what arises as a result.